Weekend Phishing

This past weekend I went "on tour" with my husbands all time favorite band. I went to 3 shows in 3 days in 2 different cities. I have been to 2 other shows in 2 concsecutive nights but it was fall and actually pretty chilly since it was November, so all the total crazies werent out. 

My mom calls us groupies, I have heard them refered to as "Phish heads", others refer to is as "going on tour". Either way, I just experienced my first muli-city tour. It was a hell of a weekend. Wild. Wild. Wild. Wild. Saw some stuff that made me think, “WTF?????” Some stuff that made me think, “ohh, your gonna go to jail!!!” Saw some people actually go to jail. Met a hippy that was selling 195 proof strawberry and peach moonshine that tasted like strawberry flavored gasoline (trust me it did), a woman selling jello shots while actively breastfeeding, another woman selling t-shirts while actively breastfeeding. I peed in the woods more than I would prefer, I had a couple beers dumped on me and I was hugged by about a dozen random, sweaty, smelly strangers and barely wore shoes all weekend. I also let Chris’ friend cut the sleeves off my t-shirt with a ridiculously sharp knife while it was still on my body then used the sleeves as a hair band. Everyone at these shows are always happy and more than willing to help you with anything you need. These are the shows you dont dress to impress, you dont go trolling for hook-ups, you dont walk around with your ass hanging out of a shredded up denim miniskirt like country concerts I have been to. You can totally be yourself and not worry about what anyone out there thinks of you. No one threw up, got arrested, or ran out of money so I would conclude the weekend was a total success. I cant wait until Fall Tour. Now that I know what to expect when you go on tour.

Judge me if you want

Wow, some of these women on The Bump are nuts! They are all self righteous about anything they deem not perfect. Because we all know that every mother out there is perfect right?


We are contemplating expanding our family so I have been doing a little lurking on the Bump to see if I find any boards that could possibly be a nice fit once we get to that point. I don’t want to flood our A08 board with constant baby nonsense because I know I will be a total offender of that. I think people will totally hate me on those baby boards. I don’t know, maybe its because I wont give up my entire life and who I am and my relationship with my husband for a child that will grow up and move out in 20 years and have their own lives. I see too many people live and breathe by every shitty diaper or sneeze, or tantrum. I refuse to be one of those parents. I have seen how people around me that parent like that are. They are exhausted, their marriages are not marriages. They live together to care for that one being that will be gone in a few short years. Then where will your marriage be? You have lost who you are as a couple and have nothing in common anymore. You have lived your life for your kids and now that they are gone, your marriage is somewhere in a limbo that could go either way. My parent’s lives were like that. When we all became teenagers and had our own lives, they divorced. It was horrible. After 18 years they had nothing left. 18 years! I refuse to live that life. Hate me for it, fine. But it has seemed to work for me so far. Here is why I don’t live my life that way.


My husband and I have only been together for 5 and a half years, but we were never “Jill and Chris” It has always been “Jill, Chris and Chase” We have always been a family of 3. 4 if you count the Princess, because she has been here that long too and she makes sure she is included as a part of our family. She causes just as much drama as the boy so she is included too.


I made the choice at 18 years old to have unprotected sex, and I got pregnant the summer after I graduated high school. I was old enough to have sex, I was old enough to live with my choices. Abortion was NEVER an option. As I was shoved from childhood into adulthood with alarming speed, I grew up with my son. I’m not the perfect mom and I will never ever claim to be. I make mistakes. I say things I shouldn’t. I apologize often. My house is always a mess, my laundry gets done when we run out of clean underwear, things are always lost, but there is so much love in my house that we don’t care. My little family is happy and healthy and that is what matters.


I was given much advice while pregnant with my son. I took it all in and smiled and nodded to all the old church ladies. I filed away all the advice to use for a later date. The one thing that always stuck in my mind was from a close friend of my moms. She is someone that I have known my entire life. My mom has been friends with her almost 45 years. She herself has been married 40 years. She told me, “Always put your husband first. If you have a happy marriage you will have happy children” Many people will think I am selfish and wrong to abide by that bit of advice. While my husband did not come before my son, that is how we live our lives now. Chase was 2 when Chris came around so he does not remember me without Chris being there too. Not even with his father who I was with for 5 years. Chase has never been one of those self-centered, I-need-all-attention-on-me-at-all-times, kind of kids. He is independent and self sufficient (as much as an 8 year old can be). He does not need someone to constantly entertain him. He is happy to sit and read a book, or play with his toys by himself.


I was always very honest with him and never sugar coated problems that affected him. In some ways I think I thought he was older than he was, that I expected too much from him. But he has proven me wrong and become one of the most helpful, honest, sweetest, considerate, polite children I have ever known. I never talked to him like he was a baby. I talked to him like he was a person like me. Where that is now leading me to the “if you can do it, why cant i? phase, I wouldn’t change anything I have done in raising him they way I did.


He came into my world. Not me into his. My life did not revolve around him and everything he did. We both revolved around the world that was handed to us and we lived in it together. We have been more of equals that mother and son, though that firm mother-son relationship is in place. He will never be confused into thinking I am just a friend or playmate. I can be one of those people; by my main purpose in his life is his mother.


Chase has always had the best of everything we could give him. He has many adventures. We have taken him camping every year, he has been on vacation to Aruba, and he goes to our family beach house every weekend in the summer. He plays baseball and skateboards. He has more books than any 8 year old can read. He has every new gaming console you can ask for. We go for walks, watch movies, read together, play games, go for walks on the beach go out for dinner at least once a week, so he is certainly not lacking in the parental attention department. But Chris and I also make sure we have time for each other too.


Judge me for being this kind of parent if you want. Judge me for my thoughts on this. God bless the people whose children are their lives. Yes, I want to have another child, I just don’t want to have that child, should we be blessed enough to receive one, occupy everything about my life. We want to add the joy of another child to our lives, not add another child to gain joy in our lives. We want another child to join in the fun and love that already exists there. Please don’t think I am putting down any other parents for raising their child as the center of their worlds. Because that is what they want. That is their idea of child rearing. It just doesn’t happen to be mine. No one is right or wrong. Children do not come with instructions.


I plan on raising our next and mostly likely last child the same way (with a few changes) we raised Chase. Our crazy lifestyle will mellow down a lot. There will be a lot more child oriented excursions. But we will also still have our nights out, and our concerts, and our friends. They may be fewer and further in between, but that will be by our choice.

And They All Fall Down

Sunday as we were leaving our beach house for the weekend, my mom fell. My little family was packed up in our truck and headed towards home and before we left the driveway, my mom noticed The Princess’ aka Emma medicine (she has skin allergies she takes meds for) on the window sill in the kitchen. Mom didn’t want Emma to miss any doses so she grabbed everything flew down the back steps and up the concrete and wood steps in the back yard. In flip flops. She tripped and fell hitting her right knee, foot, elbow and hand. By the time I got to her it looked like there was a softball inside her knee. I ended up driving her car home since she and my step-dad drove separately. Later that night, step-dad finally convinced her she needed to go to the hospital. Nothing was broken, but she needed an MRI to make sure there were no tears in the muscle or ligament damage. She has been stuck in a brace from her thigh to the middle of her calf. Yesterday, she started having bad pains in her calf. Dad took her to the doctor and after 4 doctors and 7 hours jumping from office to office, they discovered a blood clot in her calf. They put her on injections (that I have to give her) for the next 5 days and a blood thinner for 6 weeks. She has to have blood work done twice a week for the duration of the blood thinners. She is terrified, but will never admit how scared she is. We know someone that died from a blood clot like this.



Big Daddy has given her strict orders to give up the flops. She has taken major, hospital trip type falls wearing those damn Old Navy Flip Flops. Twice after hitting her head while launching the boat in the marina, once falling on the dock, and now this time in the back yard. So maybe the Old Navy flops need to be vetoed at the beach only. She has them in every stinkin color they make. I’m buying her some real, hard bottomed, decent flops. She likes the Old Navy ones because they are cheap and doesn’t feel bad when they get funky and tosses them out. So please keep her in your thoughts that this clot dissolves on its own and gives her no further problems.

The Little Place On Carolina Avenue

This weekend is Memorial Day Weekend. It’s going to be a nice long 3 day weekend to hang out at my family’s beach house on the Chesapeake Bay out in the middle of nowhere. Tomorrow after work I’m heading home and getting mi familia packed. This weekend The Boy is with his dad so it will be me, Big Daddy and The Princess heading down to meet up with my family at the local redneck bar for a late dinner some strong cheap drinks and loud obnoxious karaoke. That’s the perfect ending to a long week in my book.



The first weekend down at the beach is usually a work/fun weekend. The weekend is spent cleaning, prepping, and doing any projects the lieutenant (mom) wants us to. While the General (mom-mom) supervises. This year, our screen house is my project. It needs some major love and Im just the person for the job. The floors need to be stained and the screens need to be scrubbed. The furniture all needs a new coat of paint and we need new lights to be strung around the ceiling. I love that screen house. When I was little the screen house consisted of just that. A little metal house with screens. Then after years of taking that thing down every fall the parentals decided to do something a little more permanent and built a big beautiful wooden one. With a real roof and shingles and everything. Still no real walls, only screens to keep out the bugs. The new one has electric which means a nice ceiling fan and no extension cord running from the house. This also means no chances of running the cord over with the lawn mower. That’s a nice relief for every one. Especially since the closest store is 15 miles away. The closest grocery store, 40 minutes. Man, I really really love that place.



So we started and finished most of our projects last weekend. The screen house still needs a good cleaning out, but with rain most of last weekend I couldn’t pull everything to sit outside while I was staining inside. So until I get a free weekend to be able to do that, the screen house will just get the basic clean out. It still holds the same result in the end. Total relaxation.



Our beach house was built in 1953 by my grandfathers own hands. My grandmother was a few months pregnant with my mom and she helped out where she could, considering my uncle was 5 years old that summer and kept my grandmother hoppin. My grandparents saved every bit of money they could and slowly but surely built that tiny little cottage as they were able to get supplies. Nothing went on credit, no loans were taken out for anything, EVER. If they didn’t have the cash for it, it wasn’t bought. Once that place was done, it was fully theirs. And it was beautiful.



Now in 2010, it is a little bit sad, and very much outdated, but I still love that place like I built it myself and I would love nothing more than to restore everything we can instead of replacing it. My grandfather was tragically taken from us in 2003, so this is the last thing I have from him. I want to keep as many things he has touched and built there as long as I can. It will always stay in the family passed down from my grandparents to my parents, from my parents to my brothers and I, from us to our children and our grandchildren.



It is small and cramped with only 2 small bedrooms and 1 small bathroom and a second outside shower, but we make it work. Our families keep growing, we always have people visit, and we always find a way to fit more in. My grandparents loved having parties, and having people around and so we continue the tradition. The pictures that I have seen from the times when that place was at the top makes me wish I was born in the 50’s. Pictures of my grandmother, thin, but beautifully shaped, perfect porcelain skin, always so stylishly dressed, and hair perfectly coifed. Always smiling, always happy. She had the perfect life. Wonderful kids, wonderful family and friends and the most handsome, devoted, husband who adored her. His beautiful blue eyes and long eyelashes were enough to make any woman from age 4 to 94 blush with just a smile. They made the most beautiful picture. They looked like fashion models. But they also knew how to get their hands dirty and work hard for everything they had and every thing they wanted. That little cottage on Carolina Avenue proves just that.



Over the years, my mom has spent just as much time and money, working, fixing and replacing the things that were necessary. If it wasn’t broke it wasn’t getting fixed. My mom thinks like I do, she wants to preserve as much of the original house as possible. That place was her childhood. She spent every year from schools end to schools beginning, running the streets, playing with her friends, and being a kid down there. She met my dad there when they were 16 years old. After they married and had my brothers and I it wasn’t even a question of going. It was a, make sure you pack everything you want before we leave. Unless there was another weekend long event, we were at the beach. We have each made our debut at our beach house for the first time after we were born as soon as possible. My oldest brother, and August baby was only a few weeks old his first trip. My younger brother and I both at 5-9 months old since we were winter born babies. The Boy has been going there since he was 2 weeks old. As with normal protocol, every single one of the 7 grand children and 5 great grandchildren got a bath in the stainless steal kitchen sink with a ton of pictures taken. I wish I could find them all. That would make for a great collage. Ok, that’s it for now, since this really ended up much longer than I expected.

A Look Into My Life

Ok, well this is my first ever blog post. I just hope this isn’t a passing thing for me. All the girls on my Nestie Board have blogs and they are all so diligent about updating them. It’s so nice to be able to keep up with everyone’s lives when I don’t have time to actually be on the board. Plus my life isn’t really that interesting to post a whole lot. So hopefully this blog doesn’t bore you, and you keep coming back. I’m hoping by keeping up with this, I will write down more things that I would normally forget walking from the bedroom to the kitchen.

My kid (The Boy) is very interesting so many of my posts will more than likely be about him. He’s such a cool kid that drives me absolutely nuts and keeps me on my toes. But we grew up together and we are still learning from each other everyday. He will be 8 next month. He loves to write short stories and is a very artsy crafty creative type kid. He’s also a jock and loves sports. He plays baseball and is really really good at it. He’s pretty versatile. He’s the artsy, jock that dresses like Tony Hawk one day and a total hick the next. He is very open minded and will try anything at least once.

My husband (Big Daddy) and I have been together for 5 years and married 2 years this past April. He is a crazy over the top sports fan that has turned me into one. If I want to spend time with him, I watch sports. I deal. I read a lot. I cook a lot, but I still get to spend my few hours a night with him. He’s like a second refrigerator in my kitchen. He’s built like one and is a permanent fixture there. So most events in our lives revolve around our kitchen. Which is great because I love my kitchen and I love to cook. We installed a nice little flat screen TV in there and it was the best idea ever.

My bulldog (The Princess because she thinks she is one) is my second child. Even if I didn’t want her to be my second child she has made herself one. She thinks she is just a normal family member that deserves to sleep on the furniture, in bed, well pretty much anywhere she damn well pleases, gets to go where ever we go every single time, should get to sit at the table when we eat and bust into any room she wants whenever she wants because she is human like the rest of us. It’s extremely humorous.

I am a therapist, valet, personal shopper, gourmet chef, short order cook, laundress, seamstress, housekeeper, landscaper, handyman, nurse, team mom, and I am also the reigning “coolest mom in the neighborhood”. After all of those things, I am a state employee for the biggest school district in the state. I love my job. I would rather not go into what I actually do for fear of crazy internet stalkers.

Well, there it is for my first blog post. It lets a little light into my life. The most I post, the crazier you will see that my family is. Hope you come back again!